The Legend of Johnny Smalltie (compressed into a flat turd)

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Опубликовано на Admin В Blade and Soul обзор

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The horror of this film lies less in the story within frame and more on the experiences surrounding its creation. Having co-written and acted as the main character of this dreadful little picture, I can honestly say that in the moment I had a lot fun being a part of it because I was making a movie with a friend, but looking back I feel as if I'm a victim of a failed surgical exorcism, as if all the hatred and wickness inside me that was dredged up to the surface to get into the mindset of the character wasn't fully extracted with the final cut of the editor's blade and slow cauterizing burn to disk to completely seal the wound where the evil once resided. Instead the demon's feet were fused to my spine as it was being drawn out, and it was left dangling from my back like a starved coyote ensnared in a rusty change hooked round my neck and snapping at the backs of my legs every time I try to move to free myself from the snare of its fangs.

Over ambition blinded my eyes and clouded my mind like one swift puff of Devil's Breath from a Coast Rican hookers lips and straight to the face. Everything I did in the film was out of the same kind of sense memory instinct of a mentally challenged rapist as if I was overtaken by the persona of my deep seated child like hatred.

Once I saw the final cut of the film, I knew it had to be destroyed, and I had thought all copies were destroyed until a stranger discovered a copy of the movie and a data disc containing the files in an old stump in the forest, and here we are. The Legend, the curse, of Johnny Smalltie.

This is one of the worst films ever made. It's a psycho horror comedy a "truly punk film" described by the director which is as close to a label as a human being can place on it. It's not bound by any specific genre, but not in a good way. It's a breakthrough film if you're the step son of the anit-christ.

More to the point, this is a film that looks like it was made by snuff film directors looking to break into the mainstream industry with a snuff film version of a british gangster film. Do not watch this for entertainment, but for education. This film must be viewed by any and all aspiring film makers so they can get a glimpse into what the future of film may be facing if serious actions aren't taken to re-educate the children of the future born and bred on brain fragging hyper media exposure, HD pornography and interactive gore-ography made more accessible through ease of computer integration.

This is what could happen when those Cyborg Goblin teen punks of say 2030 try to express themselves with bits and pieces of vague impressions left on the tips of their frontal lobes after being subjected to the seemingly endless bombardment of synthesized data encoded photons.

Smalltie is what happens when you're left with no other ideas. When your only recourse left for creativity is the dark energy pooling at the bottom of the nightmare well where you're deepest seeded despair lingers like pond scum in the garbage swamp of a broken and bitter soul.

Smalltie is a what happens when you make a copy from a copy from a copy and have forgotten the original imprint of the source material. It's a product of hate born out of a media inbreeding. It's a terrible, terrible film...

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